My first five months of home schooling has not been a total pleasure. While most home school families start their home school experience from the beginning of the child’s educational years, we started ours with 7th grade. My son has been exposed to public school from the age of 4 years, staring with pre-k. He has encountered many problems from grades to social issues ending with being arrested at school for possession of marijuana on school grounds. The dilemma I faced as a mother and a citizen was, what am I to do with this child? I want him to succeed in life and be a responsible caring adult. So the battle begins.
My son, who shall remain nameless, was a very active and aggressive toddler. I sought help from the doctor, for ways to deal with this child. The Dr. referred me to a group called fiddlers for special testing. We waited several months to be seen, we tested, and so started the pre-k experience. This structured atmosphere made a huge difference in his behavior. I was tickled pink! Life was getting better, I was getting sleep. My son did very well. As time went on and we progressed through elementary school things digressed, grades were poor, and we received several complaints from teachers and after school caregiver. As much as I or any parent did not want to admit, the problem was with my son. We survived elementary school with minimal success.
So starts Middle school, 6th grade, my son had very poor grades, did not turn in assignments. He refused to cooperate in class. He chose to connect with the wrong type of kids. He started imitating gang kids, with the look, talk, and attitude. I was desperate; I called our local police department, gang unit, and had an officer come to my home to talk with my child. This officer interviewed my son and determined he was not a gang member. The officer gave me a pamphlet, to help me with identifying the signs of being in a gang. My son was told he could not hang around a certain boy. I was so determined that he would not hang with this child, that he became a car rider and lost the free time before and after school to hang with this other boy. Well, this did not work, because I cannot control what happens during the school day. I went to the school and asked for their help, of course they were full of promises that they did not comply with. The midyear report card comes home and my son is failing. The school calls and said my son has been caught skipping class with the very boy he has been forbidden to hang out with. So public school ends for the 6th grade. We bartered services with my sister in-law who home schools her children. She helped my son pass the 6th grade. In fact he did so well we decided he could return to public school for a 2nd chance.
7th grade begins at a new school. A magnet school, we were lucky to get a spot. My son went back to public school knowing that one grade on his report card below a “C” would cause him to be pulled and return to home schooling. Not only were his grades very poor, and several missing assignments, he was arrested at school. He had several bus referrals and in trouble several times before the arrest. My son was very good at not bringing home the referrals for me to sign. I thought I knew what was going on; after all he was doing his homework. School started in August and by October, I’m getting the call, your son has been arrested for possession of marijuana on school grounds. I thought “He is only 12 years old, where have I gone wrong.” The officer on the phone told me I would get a call as to when and where I could pick him up. I’m in tears, how am I going to save my son from this path he has chosen? I called the sister in-law that helped out in the 6th grade for advice. She helped me pick the curriculum for my son to finish out the 7th grade in home school. This time with me not her.
We are very different from the traditional home school family. I work a full time job and my son must go with me to work. We get up very early in the morning and he is allowed to go back to sleep for a short time in the van. I wake him up again around 8:30 AM and require him to have breakfast and be prepared to start his school day by 9:00 AM. This worked well at first, now it’s a battle to get him going. I just keep telling myself it’s a battle of wills. I will win this battle. He very much wants to return to public school to be with his friends. I think he has proven he cannot succeed in the public school system. My son argues and refuses to do his work. I am very stressed and upset most of the time. He is acting this way to try and push me into allowing him back to public school. I am here to tell you, that’s not happening. So, the punishment begins. He lost everything, TV, phone, video games, friends, bike, and the list goes on. He had to earn them back one at a time. He was pushing me so hard; I was ready to have him spend a five day vacation in juvie. You are probably thinking “what could this child be doing to be so upsetting to his mother.” My son yells, balls his fists, refuses to work, gets up from his seat and roams around. He makes strange noises for no reason. There was one instance with a book he was reading, I asked a question about the chapter he just finished, and he could not answer the question so I asked him to reread the chapter. He refused, he was sent to his room to reread, and told when he was finished and could answer the question he could come out to eat dinner. Do you know that child denied himself food, to not have to reread the chapter? Again I ask myself “What am I to do?”
Now its a few weeks later and things are a little better. I spent one whole day on the phone calling every child specialist on ADD and ADHD in my home town. This was a most frustrating experience; every call was answered by voice mail. All I wanted to do is speak to a live person and ask a few questions. Finally at 4:30 PM one call was returned. I now have my connection to a specialist that can test him. That is a few weeks away, and very expensive. If my son does have this problem of ADD or ADHD we will now be on the right track to improve things. So the saga of my homeschooling experience continues. I know that no one is perfect and it is a learning experience for us all. But I never imagined all the road blocks that I would encounter. Being a Mother, Teacher and a good citizen is much harder than anyone could ever imagine. After reading all my horror there are some good points about this first five months. I believe when we learn together it will make both of us better people. I have rediscovered things long forgotten or never learned. If nothing else I will come out of this a better person.

Oh boy! My sis has homeschooled her kids for years…well she sends them to elementary school then takes them out in middle school, her hubby has beena MS teacher for years and they both feel MS is teh danger zone….now she has re entered her highschooler in public school…which was very hard for him at first but he is thriving now…she still has one middle schooler out and two to go. this year they are using the FL online school but there is also a great co-op in their area. It provides social interaction, field trips etc one day a week…older kids have a prom..you know…stuff to make it more normal. I know kids who have done it several ways and the co-op seems the best to me but my sis isn’t a fan…not sure why..hence the online school option. Her daughter who is the only child currently homeschooled, is bored to tears and has way too much time on her hands but she does get into trouble left to her own social, middle school ways…its a difficult choice but can work out very well and certainly relieves the child of some MS pressure…as long as they have other social options and plenty of learning opportunities at home it can be a very good choice. One down side is being their “everything”. Make sure you give Sam and yourself plenty of breaks.

You have made a good decision, if I could go back and have a “do over” I would homeschool. Don’t beat yourself up for not seeing the signs sooner, you did see them and you did something about it. A new chapter in your life is beginning.

One more thing….I KNOW how you feel about FCAT, BUT you MAY want to consider having her tested as a homeschooler. You can take her to another middle school to get the testing done. This would allow you to look for strengths and areas of deficit for her grade level. I realize that many people think it’s “evil”…I believe the way we grade schools and make huge judgements is evil. We found it helpful when our son was homeschooled.

My first, and right now only advice, would be to take it very slow starting to homeschool. She will need some time to wind down, or de-school, and then you can assess what she needs and what process works for you. And to let go of the guilt of *doing school* everyday–just read her rhythms. ((hugs and blessing)) my friend.

Good for you for realizing it before it was too late. I wish you all the best in homeschooling. There will be a significant part of the process where you will be deschooling and letting your child release all that stress, as Miriam said. There are lots of resources out there to help you and many avenues that you can take. Remember, homeschooling doesn’t have to mean SCHOOL in your HOME. You don’t have to run it like a school. You can be as relaxed as you want to be and your child will learn. Just ask an unschooler

My wife and I (primarily my wife) have homeschooled our daughters for almost 10 years now and they are doing great.

The one advice I would give is don’t listen to much advice. Every child is different and you will discover best how to educate your daughter (likely by trial and error).

Just know that there are many, many approaches to homeschooling and don’t hesitate to ask for help from anyone who has good help to offer.

I’ll be praying for you.

You can do it. Breathe when your brain tells you otherwise.

Please don’t ever beat yourself up over missing this again…okay?

Wow! What a big step. Good luck with it. I’m sure the stress level will be a lot lower.